Being Yourself

Being yourself should be the easiest thing in the world. After all that's exactly who you are! 

Yet so much of the time, so many of us are afraid to be exactly that.

Society, jobs, the media and even peer pressure all influence the way we present ourselves and we are terrified of being judged, ridiculed or outcast, so instead of being unapologetically ourselves and the fabulous unique indeviduals that we are, we put up a front and in some cases even play a fictional role and be someone else because it's easier. Or at least we perceive it to be easier.

Outwardly this can be the way a person dresses, styles their hair, wears their makeup or holds themselves. 

Inwardly it could be holding back their personality, sense of humour or values, sexuality, dreams or desires.

I have met so many people who, if they just had the confidence to be themselves, could conquer anything and live their dreams, even take over the world and bring about real positive change, but they're too scared to put themselves out there incase they are judged or too scared to chase what they really want because they are afraid to fail. 

It's human nature to want to be accepted and liked, we all strive for that, consciously or not. It's nice to be 'normal' but something people fail to realise is that 'normal' people aren't the ones who change the world, it's the ones who break the mould that do. Maybe if you had the confidence to be you, it would inspire others?

Often we feel that our hands are tied, family, friends, employers or peers simply wouldn't accept us if we revealed the true version of us. Sometimes we are not allowed to be us or we'd lose our jobs! Employers literally banish any uniqueness by insisting on a uniform, banning piercings and tattoos, hairstyles and even tell us we must toughen up our personalities and stop being too 'nice' Hardly helpful! You can't change who you are! They shouldn't expect you to! 

The truth is nobody is normal, not really, because normal doesn't exist. Everyone is different. On the inside we all have different dreams and ideals, different fears and passions. Normal only exists because people conceal these things because they are too afraid if being seen as eccentric. 

How this relates to me:

Last year for the first time in my life I truly found myself. I found the confidence to do what I want to do, to be who I am. I started my youtube channel and put myself out there, flaws and all and you know what? For the first time in my life I found true contentment. I found contentment because I admitted to being who I am:

Yes, I look like complete crap when I've just woke up in a morning, yes I probably spend far too much time dreaming about a life I'll never have, yes I like being centre of attention and yes I am just a little bit chubby. Yes I buy farrrr too much makeup and yes I talk to my cats like they're my children, yes I do have OCD and like washing my hands a lot and yes I do like boybands even though I'm 30. Yes I do work in a supermarket even though I've got good qualifications and yes I dream of being a writer, yes I laugh at stupid things and yes I smoke when I know it's dangerous,Yes, I'm a soft touch, too nice for my own good, yes I've made a million mistakes and yes I am scared of a lot of things.

When I decided to start my youtube channel I braced myself for the hate, what I didn't brace myself for was where it would come from. I expected it to be strangers when in fact it was people closer to me. Family and friends who didn't support me, laughed at me and told me I was a loser but I faught back and I told them I was doing it with or without their blessing because it was what I wanted to do. Eventually people either supported me because they saw it made me happy or I cut them from my life, because if they can't accept me for who I am and what I want then they have no place in my life! 

On the contrast I got letters and cards from strangers all over the world who watched me on youtube and said I inspired them, they liked me and they supported me, so I lost friends but I gained many many more good supportive friends in the process! 

That's the thing you see, anybody who can't accept the real you doesn't deserve to be a part of your life! Maybe your old peer group won't like it, but it won't be long until you find a new group of friends that love the real you! And surely that's better! 

I'd love to hear your thoughts and comments below xx

You can also find me on: 

Twitter @helen_ann

Youtube: www.youtube.com/beautyandhelen

Instagram: beautyandhelen 

Jealousy

I always wonder about other people, when they do or say certain things, good or bad, I wonder why they did or said it. 

When someone's really nice, selfless or polite I wonder what led to them being that way, similarly when someone's nasty, hateful or rude I wonder why.

The truth is we've all got a background story that few if any people know about. Often there's underlying reasons for a person being the way they are and it's human nature to psychoanalyse eachother and to try and understand, so I guess my musings are normal?

Some people I can read straight away and see that they're being moody because they're highly strung and easily stressed out, or they're always down because they lack self confidence, they're not engaging because they're shy and socially anxious etc... But a couple of things I just can't abide and I can't get my head around so easily. 

Things like jealousy and bullying, hating and faking, I don't really know the answers as to why people are like this, I have my own opinion and I'd like to share it to see if anyone else thinks differently and can help me to understand more.

Jealousy is being envious of something someone else has. Hello are we back in primary school and our best friend has better colouring pencils than us? Well no, not quite but you see my point. 

I think the trouble with jealousy is whereas some of us resign ourselves to the fact that material things aren't the be all and and all of life and the we will survive even if we can't afford them gorgeous shoes, some people never get to that stage of thinking. They want. If they can't have they hate!

I think it takes a more sinister turn again when it's not a material object that they are jealous of; 

If someone is jealous or your relationship, your family, your lifestyle, your popularity etc... That's something that's impossible for them to replicate and that's when it turns nasty. That's where I've discovered that jealous people are people I really don't want in my life! 

The other day something happened to me where I literally experienced someone get so jealous of me having a laugh and smiling that they made it their personal mission to stop me! I'm not over reacting or anything I watched as this person calculated a way to interrupt my fun! Then I watched them walk away feeling happy with themselves for doing it!

There's not a person in this world that I would want to do that to! Obviously there are people I dislike, people that have hurt me and people that I don't get along with but none if that would make me want to literally wipe the smile off their face! Maybe I'm just a lover not a hater but I cannot understand it at all! 

Are you the jealous type? Can you really hate someone because they've got something you want? Do you have any good ways or dealing with jealous friends? Do you understand what makes these people tick? 

Random blog post I know but it's something I can't get my head around! 

Much love,

Helen xx